I’ve written a bit before about my search for ‘something', for a place of belonging and a place that felt like home. I’ve always been so fascinated by the various cultures of humankind, and despairingly, felt that I had none of my own. I live in Canada, the culture native to here is of the various First Nations, though there are enclaves of many other cultures here as well due to colonisation and settlement. I’m of mixed ancestry, though not Indigenous at all, and I didn’t grow up with any traditions really. My family came here from various places in Europe in the late 1880s/early 1900s mostly, and by the time I was born, most of our traditions had died out. Regardless, I have dabbled a bit in the magical traditions of my various bloodlines, though not quite finding though what I was looking for. Although certainly, everything I learn contributes to the whole. I’m not sure I can even explain what that “thing” is I have been looking for, but perhaps something which blends a full spiritual practice with magic and feels it is of 'my people'. Somewhere I would feel comfortable and feel belonging.
In spring 2020, several months after I started as the editor for Noumenia News, I had a new writer start. A lovely and warm-hearted woman named Emma who along with being a Traditional British Witch, was also an Obeahwoman, both these things reflecting her own English and Jamaican ancestry. Long story short, and much to my surprise of the way things may happen, since Autumn 2020 I have begun to be mentored by Emma on the path of Obeah. Something which was unexpected in my life as I do not have any Jamaican nor African ancestry. Yet something that has felt so right too. It has given me much pause for introspection.
It is the synchronicities that I watch for in life to signal to me that yes, you are making the right choices, you are on the right path. After the initiation to the path by Emma and meeting Sasabonsam (an important spirit in Obeah) I noticed some amazing effects. When I would call on Sasabonsam while out in nature everything would become more vibrant, more alive. Every leaf and every bird’s voice was somehow ‘more’. One day I was up island walking a train track (our train system is long gone so I was doing no harm) and I wanted to pull a couple of train spikes for some witchy purposes. But on this stretch of track, every spike was so stuck in, None would budge even an inch. After a while I gave up and walked a little longer, than decided to invite Sasabonsam to walk with me back to my car. A moment later I had an urge to walk to a section of track, I leaned down and immediately pulled two spikes! It was as if either that heightened awareness just guided me to the right spot, or magically two spikes were loosened. Sure, it may have just been a coincidence. But if felt different.
The next synchronicity was what I thought to be a small one but turned out to be part of a huge one. It started with noticing on Instagram that The Museum of Witchcraft in England’s latest issue of their journal, Enquiring Eye, featured Sasabonsam. All these years obeah had never been in my view and now, here it was appearing. The shipping was 3x the cost of the journal so I did not immediately get a copy, but my Obeah mentor did.
Now to backtrack a little, and hopefully I don’t lose anyone in trying to explain. In the winter before I met Emma, I worked at a pagan shop and the tarot reader there, Lion Sun, had travelled a lot; being now in his elder years he was selling some of the statues, figures and art he had collected along his life's journey. in the shop. There was one small bronze figure I was so drawn too, I just couldn’t resist asking what did Lion want for it. Lion took only $10, and the figure was mine! I researched online and asked many people about the figure, but the most I could find out was that it he was Asante/Akan made and it was suggested he might be hunter/gatherer or a warrior , though that didn’t explain why he seemed to have wings. Regardless, the figure sat in a place of pride on my desk, with me every so often gazing at him and wondering "who are you"?
When Emma received her copy of the Enquiring Eye journal she found images of a figure nearly identical to mine within the pages! My figure was Sasabonsam! This Sasabonsam figure had been in my home many months before meeting Emma and many more before being initiated to the path. It seemed very clear that I had very likely been on this path long before I consciously chose it. And that Sasabonsam was ensuring that I was made aware of that fact.
The reason the figure had been so hard to identify is the bronzes are an earlier representation of Sasabonsam and not made much later then early 20th century. After that time the figures would be made mainly of wood and of a design based on the work of Osei Bonsu, a great Asante carver. So while searching for Sasabonsam all that shows in an internet search is the wooden carvings which look nothing like the bronzes. Previously when I researched Asante/Akan bronzes, I had found a figure like mine, but it was listed on an antiques site and as only a “Warrior”.
As an extra little thing of note; while doing the introductory journey-work to meet Sasabonsam under Emma's mentorship, I actually saw him as appearing very much like the figure I have, only at that time I didn’t realise it. I just wondered why I was seeing him so different then the common representation of him. It was pretty thrilling once all the pieces fell together!
Finally, I do want to mention that in my journey on this new path I am immersing myself in the history of the culture and the people themselves; from West Africa to the West Indies. I don’t take being on the path lightly, and with not having this heritage myself in this lifetime, I feel it is my responsibility to learn all I can. I surely did not expect to end up on a path so far from my own ancestry but all I can surmise is perhaps this was my path in another life and somehow I have found it once again. Well, and with the help of Sasabonsam!
Link to Emma Kathyrn's website: https://emmakathrynwildwitchcraft.com
[Originally published elsewhere on Feb 5th, 2021] ---------------------------------------------------- UPDATE 2025
A lot has changed, as it does while the years pass. I considered taking this post down but decided to just share an update instead, because, perhaps others might relate. I ended up being mentored by Emma for a year, and while my connection with Sasabonsam remained strong, I myself felt rather lost. Obeah is taught by the spirits themselves with the mentor being a guide, and well, I think that I was a bit stuck unable to get past the feeling that I didn't belong. I still stand by everything I wrote above, and I do wonder at the connection I have felt with Sasabonsam, but perhaps it is a connection that has followed me from a past life, or, will be part of a future life. (Thinking about all this led me down a rabbithole into the theory of relativity, block universe concept and the concept of simultaneity, all of which I struggle to understand so will not try to relate here!) Maybe the whole thing was coincidence and not synchronicity at all. Maybe my mind simply filled in what it thought I wanted.
I did take one post down quite a long ways back. I had decided not to do an update on it as what it related regarding folk magic was entirely different from how I had started feeling. And how I feel now. I have always struggled about sharing anything online, or in print. It always makes me feel vulnerable and misunderstood somehow. Because as the years pass and I grow older, I am always evolving and changing what I think and feel. It seems to me that should be expected to an extent, but I know my ADHD and OCD contributes to this quite a bit as well, in ways I am still learning about. And so it bothers me that people who may have come across me online might have a skewed view based on something I wrote which I no longer even gel with. That's aways been a struggle for me. I have no care about other's opinions regarding most things; how I look, how I live, my interests, but somehow when it is sharing thoughts, that's a whole other ball game. Something I'm working on!
I am no longer involved in Hoodoo or any other folk magics, and I'm enjoying a new perspective of finding things interesting without having the urge to jump into it myself! I had found Hoodoo to be such a fascinating practice, the focus on "use what you have" being so refreshing after having studied more ceremonial magics requiring all sorts of things. Sp I read all the books, learned from experienced practioners, bought supplies, and then, did very little with it all. What I did try failed. Perhaps I was working for the impossible, or perhaps I was simply rubbish at it. I think I also did not feel 100% comfortable, despite assurances that it was okay, for those without African ancestry to learn. Hoodoo is so tied into the history of African Americans.
I recently have been having quite a terrible mental health crisis and strangely, there have been a few benefits to come out of it. I am on a medication now that has been working wonders for me. After 20 years of refusing medication, I now feel quite ridiculous because it has truly been helping a lot. OCD is not curable, but the medication not only helps me get through the day, it seems to ease up the ADHD too. I have more clarity and focus, I can appreciate and admire while not needing to be a part of everything, not everything is for me. I no longer feel I need to learn everything, and I no longer have the urge to purchase items I will weary of in no time at all; books I won't ever read, supplies I will never use, items to comfort myself and ease anxiety. Those dopamine hits can be a real motivator. The medication I am on keeps my seratonin levels up and I no longer can be swayed by dopamine.
So, I will leave this post up, at least for now. I chose to send the Sasabonsam figure to Emma recently. It just felt right to do so. I have been doing the biggest clearout I have done in years. I do them every year but this one has been far more extensive. It feels like the clearout is the physical part of propelling a massive life change. Things leaving my home, especially books, remove a weight off me, and it feels wonderful to finally have the clarity to know what I'm truly interested in deeply enough to be able to focus on it. I've even been clearing and organising my OneDrive, my Kobo, phone apps....everything really!
Another curious thing about the medication, I no longer feel culture-less and like I need a path to follow. I always wanted to forge my own path anyhow and will reject much regardless, but still, my whole life, I always feel a pull to be a 'part of something'. That is all gone now, I feel perfectly fine and happy being a 'mutt', doing my own thing, and just being alive on Earth, a tiny little part of a massive and magical Cosmos.
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